Mothering

Mothers Days is so much more than the Hallmark commercial holiday. Our connections and disconnections are incredibly varied.

As we become older, each year as I celebrate the day with my mom, I take it less and less for granted. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to celebrate this day with her each year. This year, Destiny and I went and celebrated with my mom - three generations of women, each at such a different stage of life, connecting in ways yet so dissimilar in others. My mother absolutely hates to have her picture taken, so I will have to store the memory away in a safe place, without that visual reminder.

I am in a somewhat unique position in that most of my closest friends do not have and have never had children, through birth or adoption, some by choice but others not. I know that I cannot imagine what Mothers Day must be like for them.

Many of my friends no longer have their mothers here on earth to celebrate the day with. Another thing I didn't think a lot about when I was younger, although I'm sure I knew people in that situation. Some take special measures to remember and commemorate their mothers on that day.

My maternal grandmother died two weeks after I was born. I was a preemie back a generation before I had my own preemie to contend with. I cannot imagine what it was like for my mother to have her first child in the NICU and to lose her mother at the same time.

My mother kept her mother alive for my brother and I, although we never met her. Throughout our childhood we saw pictures of and heard stories about Grandma Jean. I learned a lot through that experience. I feel as if I grew up with this grandmother in my life, and truly know her. What an amazing testament to my mom and the way she handled that situation. A very positive thing.

Now that my children are older, they are at the point in life that they get to see mom as a living, breathing, very fallable human being. I really hope that they forgive my mistakes, and know my heart. I with they could truly understand even a fraction of the love I have for them.

And now I am a grandmother. J is not genetically related to me in any way, in case you didn't know. I can absolutely, with 100% assuance say that I could not love him more if he were. Being J's grandma is possibly the only compensation for getting older!

Being a grandmother lets you watch your children parent. Linda is an amazing mother to Jason. She has such great balance with him. Firm but fair. Fun. Compassionate. Creative. Easygoing in a very Bays kind of way.