I a so new at this blogging thing. I am sure our children will find it very funny. Someday I will figure this out!
I just found a bunch of posts in "draft" status. Most are only partially completed, but they hold dear memories, so I am publishing them. They are out of chronological order, but I couldn't bear to part with them.
Okay, onward we go. Hopefully some recipes will be posted in the near future.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
A baby in the family
We are expecting. Actually, Linda and George are expecting their second child.
Their first, Jason, was born the year after Floyd and I married. I really believe he is the glue that bound our new family together. Not so much for Floyd and I, but for our children. The studies say that it takes many years for a "blended" family to feel secure. I think the love everyone felt and feels for Jason hastened that process dramatically.
It has been such a pleasure and incredible joy to watch Jason grow. Linda and George are amazing parents.
Their first, Jason, was born the year after Floyd and I married. I really believe he is the glue that bound our new family together. Not so much for Floyd and I, but for our children. The studies say that it takes many years for a "blended" family to feel secure. I think the love everyone felt and feels for Jason hastened that process dramatically.
It has been such a pleasure and incredible joy to watch Jason grow. Linda and George are amazing parents.
Saturday
I love Saturday. I love waking up on Saturday morning to a day full of possibilities. I love Saturday morning because Floyd Michael is home, and will be for two full days (three on this holiday weekend).
Weekends have historically been for visiting family. This has been true since I was a teenager. Once I learned to drive, I visited my grandparents on many weekends. Once my parents moved away, I've made the drive to visit them as often as I can. Weekends are also the time that we are most likely to see our away-from-home children. And, of course, no weekend is complete without spending some time with our grandson, J.
Weekends have historically been for visiting family. This has been true since I was a teenager. Once I learned to drive, I visited my grandparents on many weekends. Once my parents moved away, I've made the drive to visit them as often as I can. Weekends are also the time that we are most likely to see our away-from-home children. And, of course, no weekend is complete without spending some time with our grandson, J.
What now?
From the time I was a toddler, I wanted to be a mother. I just knew it was what I was meant to do and be.
When I was older and planning a career, I chose with motherhood in mind.
Every decision I made in my life revolved around that knowledge of what and who I would be.
When I was fortunate to have children, I believe I enjoyed their young childhood stage more than most. No matter that trial or hardship, the ordinariness, the same old same old, or the wonderful highs and joys, I took mind pictures. I absolutely knew I was fortunate and was doing and being exactly what I was meant to be. Perhaps not was well as I would have liked, but doing it to the best of my ability.
When the divorce hit, and work went from part time to full time plus, I went into survival mode. Not just figuratively but literally. It was my job to feed these young people and to make sure they were fed. Survival came first, and everything else became secondary. I missed so much during those years. And so did they.
So what becomes of a woman whose major emphasis in life has been mothering when her children are grown? Of course, I am still a mother and always will be. I love my children now as much as I ever have. Through amazing grace, I have been blessed with a "step" daughter and "god" son that are every bit as much a part of my mothering as my biological children. Very simply, I have five children. No "*" needed.
Loving and mothering adult children is so different than mothering small children. Definitely a work in progress.
With this stage came grandparenting. What a joy that is! Absolute, total joy. It helps so much that his parents are so kind and considerate and caring toward us. I can't express the happiness we feel when out of the blue the phone does its "you have a text" song, and right there, out of nowhere, is a picture of J doing something amazing, wonderful, different or even ordinary. How fun that is! Floyd Michael and I absolutely love that. I used to love seeing young fathers with their toddlers. I get the same feeling when I watch Floyd Michael with J.
When I was older and planning a career, I chose with motherhood in mind.
Every decision I made in my life revolved around that knowledge of what and who I would be.
When I was fortunate to have children, I believe I enjoyed their young childhood stage more than most. No matter that trial or hardship, the ordinariness, the same old same old, or the wonderful highs and joys, I took mind pictures. I absolutely knew I was fortunate and was doing and being exactly what I was meant to be. Perhaps not was well as I would have liked, but doing it to the best of my ability.
When the divorce hit, and work went from part time to full time plus, I went into survival mode. Not just figuratively but literally. It was my job to feed these young people and to make sure they were fed. Survival came first, and everything else became secondary. I missed so much during those years. And so did they.
So what becomes of a woman whose major emphasis in life has been mothering when her children are grown? Of course, I am still a mother and always will be. I love my children now as much as I ever have. Through amazing grace, I have been blessed with a "step" daughter and "god" son that are every bit as much a part of my mothering as my biological children. Very simply, I have five children. No "*" needed.
Loving and mothering adult children is so different than mothering small children. Definitely a work in progress.
With this stage came grandparenting. What a joy that is! Absolute, total joy. It helps so much that his parents are so kind and considerate and caring toward us. I can't express the happiness we feel when out of the blue the phone does its "you have a text" song, and right there, out of nowhere, is a picture of J doing something amazing, wonderful, different or even ordinary. How fun that is! Floyd Michael and I absolutely love that. I used to love seeing young fathers with their toddlers. I get the same feeling when I watch Floyd Michael with J.
Preparedness
Difficult things happen in the world, our country, our local community, in our familes, or to us personally. A lot of amazing, wonderful and positive things happen, as well. Often, as the difficult times fade into the background and are replaced by those blessed "nothing special to report" days, we figure out that something positive has come from the difficult experience - not that we would ever like to go through it again!
As a part of the human family, a citizen, a neighbor, a friend, an extended family member, a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, whatever the connection may be, when tragedy strikes we want to help in some way.
It is so easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel as if what little we could do couldn't begin to touch the calamity at hand. On the other hand, if no one does anything, where does that leave us?
Floyd and I have been talking at length about world issues, family issues, and life in general. This is nothing new for us. (Side note: I highly recommend a best friend and life partner who thinks deeply about life and is willing to entertain and discuss a myriad of options. Definitely makes life interesting). Again and again we come back to feeling the need to do all that we can do. It may never be enough, but it is surely better than doing nothing at all.
As a parent, and a grandparent, we would do anything to protect our children (yes, even the grown ones). This extends outward, until you get back to the extended family, friends, neighbors, local community, country, world.
So what are we to do? Obviously "nothing" is the incorrect answer here, at least for us.
As a part of the human family, a citizen, a neighbor, a friend, an extended family member, a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, whatever the connection may be, when tragedy strikes we want to help in some way.
It is so easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel as if what little we could do couldn't begin to touch the calamity at hand. On the other hand, if no one does anything, where does that leave us?
Floyd and I have been talking at length about world issues, family issues, and life in general. This is nothing new for us. (Side note: I highly recommend a best friend and life partner who thinks deeply about life and is willing to entertain and discuss a myriad of options. Definitely makes life interesting). Again and again we come back to feeling the need to do all that we can do. It may never be enough, but it is surely better than doing nothing at all.
As a parent, and a grandparent, we would do anything to protect our children (yes, even the grown ones). This extends outward, until you get back to the extended family, friends, neighbors, local community, country, world.
So what are we to do? Obviously "nothing" is the incorrect answer here, at least for us.
Who loves you?
When my children were young, I often played a simple word game with them. I would just ask them "who loves you?" and they would tell me everyone they could think of who loved them. Occasionally I would remind them of someone they hadn't listed who loved them. We did this quite often. I didn't really think a whole lot about it. It was simply what we did.
In recent years, I have done the same thing with Jason. Again, we do it pretty often. One thing that struck me as I ask the question of J is how very many people truly love this boy. For all the bad things divorce brings (and trust me, I know as well as anyone about them), I realized that there was a positive thing that came from our varied family connections. Jason has an amazing amount of people who love him.
Disclaimer: It helps that all of the various parties have been together since he was born. He wasn't around for the tearing apart portion.
For him, there are multiple sets of grandparents and great grandparents, lots of aunts, uncles and cousins.
I wish every child had the safety net that comes from having so many people who love them.
In recent years, I have done the same thing with Jason. Again, we do it pretty often. One thing that struck me as I ask the question of J is how very many people truly love this boy. For all the bad things divorce brings (and trust me, I know as well as anyone about them), I realized that there was a positive thing that came from our varied family connections. Jason has an amazing amount of people who love him.
Disclaimer: It helps that all of the various parties have been together since he was born. He wasn't around for the tearing apart portion.
For him, there are multiple sets of grandparents and great grandparents, lots of aunts, uncles and cousins.
I wish every child had the safety net that comes from having so many people who love them.
Mothering
Mothers Days is so much more than the Hallmark commercial holiday. Our connections and disconnections are incredibly varied.
As we become older, each year as I celebrate the day with my mom, I take it less and less for granted. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to celebrate this day with her each year. This year, Destiny and I went and celebrated with my mom - three generations of women, each at such a different stage of life, connecting in ways yet so dissimilar in others. My mother absolutely hates to have her picture taken, so I will have to store the memory away in a safe place, without that visual reminder.
I am in a somewhat unique position in that most of my closest friends do not have and have never had children, through birth or adoption, some by choice but others not. I know that I cannot imagine what Mothers Day must be like for them.
Many of my friends no longer have their mothers here on earth to celebrate the day with. Another thing I didn't think a lot about when I was younger, although I'm sure I knew people in that situation. Some take special measures to remember and commemorate their mothers on that day.
My maternal grandmother died two weeks after I was born. I was a preemie back a generation before I had my own preemie to contend with. I cannot imagine what it was like for my mother to have her first child in the NICU and to lose her mother at the same time.
My mother kept her mother alive for my brother and I, although we never met her. Throughout our childhood we saw pictures of and heard stories about Grandma Jean. I learned a lot through that experience. I feel as if I grew up with this grandmother in my life, and truly know her. What an amazing testament to my mom and the way she handled that situation. A very positive thing.
Now that my children are older, they are at the point in life that they get to see mom as a living, breathing, very fallable human being. I really hope that they forgive my mistakes, and know my heart. I with they could truly understand even a fraction of the love I have for them.
And now I am a grandmother. J is not genetically related to me in any way, in case you didn't know. I can absolutely, with 100% assuance say that I could not love him more if he were. Being J's grandma is possibly the only compensation for getting older!
Being a grandmother lets you watch your children parent. Linda is an amazing mother to Jason. She has such great balance with him. Firm but fair. Fun. Compassionate. Creative. Easygoing in a very Bays kind of way.
As we become older, each year as I celebrate the day with my mom, I take it less and less for granted. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to celebrate this day with her each year. This year, Destiny and I went and celebrated with my mom - three generations of women, each at such a different stage of life, connecting in ways yet so dissimilar in others. My mother absolutely hates to have her picture taken, so I will have to store the memory away in a safe place, without that visual reminder.
I am in a somewhat unique position in that most of my closest friends do not have and have never had children, through birth or adoption, some by choice but others not. I know that I cannot imagine what Mothers Day must be like for them.
Many of my friends no longer have their mothers here on earth to celebrate the day with. Another thing I didn't think a lot about when I was younger, although I'm sure I knew people in that situation. Some take special measures to remember and commemorate their mothers on that day.
My maternal grandmother died two weeks after I was born. I was a preemie back a generation before I had my own preemie to contend with. I cannot imagine what it was like for my mother to have her first child in the NICU and to lose her mother at the same time.
My mother kept her mother alive for my brother and I, although we never met her. Throughout our childhood we saw pictures of and heard stories about Grandma Jean. I learned a lot through that experience. I feel as if I grew up with this grandmother in my life, and truly know her. What an amazing testament to my mom and the way she handled that situation. A very positive thing.
Now that my children are older, they are at the point in life that they get to see mom as a living, breathing, very fallable human being. I really hope that they forgive my mistakes, and know my heart. I with they could truly understand even a fraction of the love I have for them.
And now I am a grandmother. J is not genetically related to me in any way, in case you didn't know. I can absolutely, with 100% assuance say that I could not love him more if he were. Being J's grandma is possibly the only compensation for getting older!
Being a grandmother lets you watch your children parent. Linda is an amazing mother to Jason. She has such great balance with him. Firm but fair. Fun. Compassionate. Creative. Easygoing in a very Bays kind of way.
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